Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
