Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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