I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
