doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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