are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
