i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
