i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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