I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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