I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
so explain again why im purple
no
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
