i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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