Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
