North Korea, Best Korea!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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