Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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