dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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