I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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