He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
where are my eyebrows?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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