Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
