Ketchup is God's man juice
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
