But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
