Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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