I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
