i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
