I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
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