so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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