I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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