the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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