with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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