So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
