There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
