Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just made out with a guy for $7.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
