You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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