This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
