its not stalking. its research.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
