last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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