I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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