i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Randomize
