she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
