I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I'm at about main and main street
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize