is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize