As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
