Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
