i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
