i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
