I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
