Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
