It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
