You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
