How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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