Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
