Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
