yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
