apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
