he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
it glows. i had to have it.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
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