i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
