I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
