Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
