Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
organizing the empties. That sober.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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