all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
