Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
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