You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize