Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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