**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just saw a hot homeless man
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
