Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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