is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
from now on my penis is your penis
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
