I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
