question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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