his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
