I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
