i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize