I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
