Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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