Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
